Astronomy Joke 1:
Q: What is Preparation A?
A: It is the name of an over-the-counter product used to relieve the pain and suffering of asteroids.
A: It is the name of an over-the-counter product used to relieve the pain and suffering of asteroids.
Astronomy Joke 2:
When Mr. Leno of the Tonight Show went J-walking and asked pedestrians some science questions, he discovered some amazing new facts about the universe:
Jay Leno: "Why does dew appear on plants in the morning when the Sun comes up?" A waitress: "Is it because the Sun makes them perspire?"
Jay Leno: "Why does the Moon orbit the Earth?" An auto mechanic: "To get to the other side?"
Jay Leno: What are magnets?" A taxi driver: "Are they the things crawling over a week-old dead cat?"
Jay Leno: Which is more useful, the Sun or the Moon?" A thirteen-year old: [Pause] "I think it's the Moon because the moon shines at night when you want the light, whereas the Sun shines during the day when you don't need it."
Jay Leno: "Why does dew appear on plants in the morning when the Sun comes up?" A waitress: "Is it because the Sun makes them perspire?"
Jay Leno: "Why does the Moon orbit the Earth?" An auto mechanic: "To get to the other side?"
Jay Leno: What are magnets?" A taxi driver: "Are they the things crawling over a week-old dead cat?"
Jay Leno: Which is more useful, the Sun or the Moon?" A thirteen-year old: [Pause] "I think it's the Moon because the moon shines at night when you want the light, whereas the Sun shines during the day when you don't need it."
Astronomy Joke 3:
It is reported that Copernicus' parents said the following to him at the age of twelve: "Copernicus, young man, when are you going to come to terms with the fact that the world does not revolve around you."
Astronomy Joke 4:
The Official Unabashed Scientific Dictionary defines black holes as what you get in black socks.
Astronomy Joke 5:
"Whatever the missing mass of the universe is, I hope it's not in cockroaches." – a New York City tenant.
Astronomy Joke 6: A limerick about Edmund Halley
From the public, his discovery brought cheers.
From his wife, it drew nothing but torrents of tears.
"For you see," said Ms. Halley,
"He used to come daily;
Now he comes once every 70 years!"
From the public, his discovery brought cheers.
From his wife, it drew nothing but torrents of tears.
"For you see," said Ms. Halley,
"He used to come daily;
Now he comes once every 70 years!"
Astronomy Joke 7:
An English major at a university was taking an astronomy course to satisfy the science requirement. During the last lecture of the semester, the professor spoke about some of the more exotic objects in the universe including black holes. Despite his teacher's enthusiasm, the student showed no interest, as was the case for all his astronomy classes during the semester. When the bell rang, the student turned to his friend and said, "The prof says that black holes are interesting, but I think they suck."
Astronomy Joke 8:
An astronomy major had a part time job working in the university's off-campus housing office. One day, a fellow student, upon entering the office in thought about the morning lecture, asked, "What is an astronomical unit?" To which the astronomy major replied, "One helluva big apartment."
(special thanks for Miss Oc)
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